Posted by Laura Elmore
Thanksgiving 2005 started like most as I woke early to complete the preparations for our family celebration.  As I stumbled towards the kitchen and my first cup of coffee, I was surprised by an unknown young man asleep on our family room sofa.  I continued into the kitchen and tried to keep the noise to a minimum.  About an hour later, the young man came around the corner and introduced himself as a member of our son Kenny’s Marine unit.  Over coffee I learned more about Josh, including that his Mom left when he was a teen, escaping an abusive relationship.  Josh and his alcoholic father had a troubled connection, with Josh often acting as the parent to protect his father from the bad decisions of his alcohol abuse. 
 
Kenny joined us, and when Josh went to shower, Kenny explained that at the Marine center the night before, he learned that Josh had no family with which to share the holiday, and invited him home.  This was not an uncommon practice; our sons grew up with over 100 foster teens rotating through our family and both were known for bringing home what we affectionately called their “strays”.  To us that is a term of endearment, as once in our home, they were no longer strangers but part of the extended family. 
 
Josh stayed with us through much of the day, but insisted on going to his father rather than joining us for Thanksgiving dinner.  With a bag of food over his arm, he left with our thoughts and prayers for the troubled time ahead.  We’ve only seen Josh a couple of times since, but always remember him at Thanksgiving and wonder how he’s doing.   
 
I contrast that to Thanksgiving 2004, which came just 2 weeks after the death of our close friend, John.  With two adult sons, I assumed that Ann would spend Thanksgiving with one of their families.  I was horrified the day after to learn that she was alone as evidently both sons assumed the other had her.  Had I known she was alone, an invitation to our family would have been extended.  Since that time, I have never let a holiday go by without assuring that Ann has plans not to be alone.
 
My son taught me a valuable lesson that our holiday is Thanksgiving; not thanks-keeping.  Let’s give of ourselves by looking for those in our periphery who may be alone.  Maybe it’s the single parent and children, or an older person with family far away.  Elaborate meals are not important; rather, time and concern.  Take a minute, think about those individuals and make that call.  Even if they turn you down, that call will bring joy and give you something meaningful as a result.